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Papa Tiger
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- #76
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Mindless
- Thread starter Papa Tiger
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Papa Tiger
Well-Known Member
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- #77
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered
dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of
seagulls.
One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out
and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the
road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them.
Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls
across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
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DON'T TAKE CHANCES IF YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER
dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of
seagulls.
One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out
and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the
road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them.
Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls
across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
__________________________________________________ ____
DON'T TAKE CHANCES IF YOU WANT TO LIVE FOREVER
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Papa Tiger
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- #78
He notices the 15 neighbors have been very quiet for a couple of days now. They are really boring he thinks.
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He told his Sons that his favorite band growing up was the Rolling Stones.
They said, "Who?" "They're my second Favorite !"
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Mindless ?
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He told his Sons that his favorite band growing up was the Rolling Stones.
They said, "Who?" "They're my second Favorite !"
________________________________________
Mindless ?
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Papa Tiger
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- #79
The skinny waisted old guy is sitting on a bench waiting for the elevated train to a park. A youngster sits on the bench and seems to be waiting also. The old Lizard glances over the kid's way, occasionally. Enough to get the kid irritated with the gawks and leer looks coming from the old fart.
The kid says, ‘Old man haven’t you ever seen a guy with blue-green, yellow-purple hair before?
Well; the old antique thinks on that a bit! Sometime later the old guy says, you know, I once got so drunk that I fell in love with a parrot. You might be my Son! _____________________________
YOU KNOW THATS A TRUE STORY But being driven by the basest motives, will somehow be for the benefit of everyone"
The kid says, ‘Old man haven’t you ever seen a guy with blue-green, yellow-purple hair before?
Well; the old antique thinks on that a bit! Sometime later the old guy says, you know, I once got so drunk that I fell in love with a parrot. You might be my Son! _____________________________
YOU KNOW THATS A TRUE STORY But being driven by the basest motives, will somehow be for the benefit of everyone"
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Papa Tiger
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- #80
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The batteries were given out free of charge.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you can get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
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Papa Tiger
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- #81
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Papa Tiger
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- #82
It's the bar and the Hotties are watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge. The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied, 'I'll take that bet!' Anyway, sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead the $50. The redhead said 'I can't take this, you're my friend.' The blonde said 'No. A bet's a bet'.
So the redhead said 'Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money'. The blonde replied, 'Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!'
So the redhead said 'Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money'. The blonde replied, 'Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!'
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Papa Tiger
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- #83
Entering the Concert Hall Brian goes up to his row and
sits in the Numbered seat in the front row and waits
for the concert to begin.
A friend asks, "Brian how did you manage to get a front
row ticket to the concert?"
Brian responds, "I got a ticket from my sister."
His friend asks " where's your sister?"
"Looking for her ticket."
sits in the Numbered seat in the front row and waits
for the concert to begin.
A friend asks, "Brian how did you manage to get a front
row ticket to the concert?"
Brian responds, "I got a ticket from my sister."
His friend asks " where's your sister?"
"Looking for her ticket."
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Papa Tiger
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- #84
Well, he looks at his buddy and says "My wife will kill me when I get home, this is a brand-new shirt!"
"Don't worry, just put $20 in your front pocket and tell her that some guy got sick on you and
gave you $20 for the cleaning bill," his friend says.
He closes the bar down and heads home. When he arrives and opens the front door his wife is standing there waiting on him. "just look at you, your drunk again!" "You Pukes all over yourself."
"No Honey it isn't like that, some guy got sick on me and look here he gave me $20 for the cleaning bill." She pulls the money out of his pocket and counts, says, "Wait one minute there's $40 here!
"Oh, he crapped in my pants too!"
"Don't worry, just put $20 in your front pocket and tell her that some guy got sick on you and
gave you $20 for the cleaning bill," his friend says.
He closes the bar down and heads home. When he arrives and opens the front door his wife is standing there waiting on him. "just look at you, your drunk again!" "You Pukes all over yourself."
"No Honey it isn't like that, some guy got sick on me and look here he gave me $20 for the cleaning bill." She pulls the money out of his pocket and counts, says, "Wait one minute there's $40 here!
"Oh, he crapped in my pants too!"
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Papa Tiger
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- #85
Paul's riding the bus, minding his own business, when a beautiful young mother next to him starts to breast feed her baby. The baby's not taking it and she soothingly says, "Come on lil Johnny, eat it all up.
Five minutes later, Lil Johnny is still not feeding, so she says, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here."
A few minutes later the Paul now an anxious man says, "Come on Johnny." Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!"
Five minutes later, Lil Johnny is still not feeding, so she says, "Come on, honey. Take it or I'll give it to this nice man here."
A few minutes later the Paul now an anxious man says, "Come on Johnny." Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!"
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Papa Tiger
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- #86
Ok. Naked Running. We're at the Start on the Nude beach and the Starter yell out, "No GPS, Music, or any other tech." " I wish I had known this an hour ago, I could have trained better, now I've gotta follow some big fat ass to know the route."
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Papa Tiger
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- #87
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Papa Tiger
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- #88
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Papa Tiger
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- Thread starter
- #89
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Papa Tiger
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- #90
Dirt Bike off Roading later anyone?
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