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Two blondes are on the road along a wheat field and they see a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a rowboat. The driver turns to her blonde friend and says, "You know - it's what blondes like that, you know it's, -- what -they-are -doing, that give us a bad name!" ..... The other blonde...

I went upstairs, and a nice long shower, washed my hair, blow dried my toes, pulled on some great Sox, got into blue jeans and shirt, pulled on my boots an went fishing after I opened my water bill !

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'guys.' I told my wife that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!" ; Well, the hours passed, the drinks went down smooth, way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit wasted, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the...

Are you perplexed by the question ? Induction is when you add a duck into the pond. Deduction is when you take a duck out of the pond.

A Couple is about to marry and asks their grandparents how often a married couple should make love. The elders say, "When we were first get married, we wanted it all the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As we aged thru the years, we would make love maybe once a...

Mr. Roberts is a witness to a crime & is called to testify in court. He's approached by the defense attorney who asks him, "Has anyone told you what to say in court?" "Yes, sir," answered Steve. "I thought so," said the attorney. "Who was it?" "My Brother Carrol did, sir." "And what did he...

Bob's, pulls over for speeding on the turnpike. LEO asks for Bob's license and says, "You don't even look like you have a job!" I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!" Bob answers, "I've got a job! I have a good, well-paying job!" The cop leans in the window, smelling Bob and says...

Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When little Logan received his plate, "I'm Hungry," he says &started eating right away. "Logan, wait until we say our prayer," his mother reminded him. "I don't have to," the little boy replied. "Of course you do," his mother...

There does not appear to be a communication problem today!

I wanted to sense that new truck "feel" before it becomes a used truck. The salesperson, a nice-looking young woman sat in the passenger seat next to me, describing the truck and all its "wonderful" options. The seats were of particular interest. She explained that the seats directed warm air...

You are a complete, harmoniously perfect, ingenious supreme masterpiece of God, sensually delicate fragile beauty. I can look at you forever and admire every second, I am exhausted from love and excitement. Your skin shines with the light of love is pure as the first snow covered with ruddy...

I once got into a ground nest of Yellow Jackets. There I was hurrying away like fast pulling them off of me. It hurt like hell, the pain, Oh the pain! Early the next morning took the battery Vacuum out to their hole. Turned it on and sucked all those suckers into it. After a while the battery...

The Chief introduces me to his wife, "This is four horses". I replied, "Wow, what a beautiful name, what does it mean?". He said, " nag, nag, nag, nag!" _________________________________________

Bob and Toby open a Frozen yogurt stand. Bob is in charge of Hiring the Girls to tend the drive thru. Toby's actionably unimportant to their business. Days go past, evenings fled, the Hotties congregate and the Guys hang around. One day a Billionaire says, "I like your business." "Can I buy it"...

While sipping brews they decided a fishing trip to Maine was a great idea. Of Course they should of known better than to go in Hurricane season. But it was some trip to ride in.

Joesef jumps out of his window and heads to the local church. He grabs the statue of Mary, rolls it up in a blanket, rushes back home and shoves it under his bed. He then writes the letter. "Dear God, I really want a new BMX bike! If you want to see your mother again......?"...

Maybe we should all start to post random drivel, 2 paragraphs about twice a day. ... wait it's what just happened! ... Random ridiculous posts. ... Sure, hope this thread is fun! Are you going over my head is a reasonable question! __________________________________________________ ___...

"What's so great about a sunny evening sunset. Everyone is in a big hurry to go home?" You say while sitting under the canopy and waiting for the BBQ to heat up! Let's fix a couple NY strip steaks! ... twss ________________________________________________ I didn't say I quit, I said I won't & I...

After enduring many minutes on being berated, wife stared at him. Karen, the wife says, ‘What in the world is wrong with you? il Johnny calmly replied, "I just wanted to tell you what it feels like when I'm driving." __________________________________________________ ____________________________...