Just Because It’s Mostly True

[Dakota Kid]

Husband: My wife is missing.
She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home...
Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?
Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sergeant: Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant: Color of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
Sergeant: Color of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year.
Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.
Sergeant: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.
Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my Jeep.
Sergeant: What kind of Jeep was it?
Husband: (sobbing)
It's a 2010 Rubicon with Sprintex Supercharger with Intercooler, DiabloSport T-1000 Trinity Programmer, Teraflex Falcon 3.3 Shocks ,1350 RE Reel Drive Shafts, Method 105 Bead Locks, Toyo 37" X 13.5" Tires, Custom Olympic Off Road Front Bumper, Olympic Off Road Smuggler Rear Bumper with tire carrier, Seward Radius 4s LED Light, Seward 12" LED Light bar, 50" LED Light bar with, sPod LED switch pod with Boost gage,, Rigid LED Lights, 15# Power Tank, Rock Hard Cage, Rock Hard Under Armor, Posion Spyder Sliders, Posion Spyder Crusher Fenders, Posion Spyder Evap Armor, Posion Spyder Extreme Duty Trans-Mount Cross Member, Bushwacker rear armor, 5.13 Gears, Magnum 44 Front Axle, Off Road Evolution "C" Gussets, Cobra 75 CB Radio, Warn 10K on Front and 8K Winch on Rear, Bartact Seat Covers, Delta Quad Bar Xenon Headlamps,Tantrum LED Offroad Rock Lights, Teraflex HD Tie Rod, Teraflex Falcon Steering Stabilizer, Teraflex Alpine Long Control Arms Front & Rear, Teraflex 4" springs, Teraflex JK Performance Slotted Big Rotor Kit, TeraFlex Monster HD Forged Front Adjustable Trackbar, Teraflex Front & Rear Brake Line Kit, Teraflex Bump Stops Front & Rear, Surprise Straps, Hothead Headliner, Teraflex D-44 Diff Covers, Wild Boar Grille, Rigid Ridge Hood, Drake Hood Latch's & a Tuffy Security Drawer......
(At this point, the sobbing has turned into a full cry.)
Sergeant: Don't worry buddy. We'll find your Jeep.

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[4xjeepr]

LOVE IT !!! I needed a good laugh.

 

[Free2roam]

Is this the new...."The Last Jeep I'll ever own" thread? Because they shut down our other one! Damnit man!

 

[Gren71]

Is this the new...."The Last Jeep I'll ever own" thread? Because they shut down our other one! Damnit man!

https://www.jeepgladiatorforum.com/forum/threads/what-is-going-on-here.52399/page-2#post-858086

Im trying to rekindle it here

 

[869 KPH]

Is this the new...."The Last Jeep I'll ever own" thread? Because they shut down our other one! Damnit man!

I'm convinced that's now the thread that shall not be named - say voldemort and suddenly yours gets locked too.

 

[jeepers29]

Is this the new...."The Last Jeep I'll ever own" thread? Because they shut down our other one! Damnit man!

What? That's it, I call off Christmas.

 

[Rahkmalla]

i get that it's a joke... but the premise of the shrew wife and the uninterested husband has always bothered me. If marriages that identify with this premise are that common, way more people should be getting divorced.

The core of this joke is "i could barely pick my wife out of a line-up, but I've memorized everything dollar i've sunk into my jeep" sort of skips over the concept of the grass being greenest where you water it. Maybe spend as much money on your family as you do on yourself and you wont have a "ships passing in the night" relationship with your wife.

 

[futzin']

Sheesh!! Dude, lighten up!

 

[TimC]

Reported

 

[wannajeep]

Husband: My wife is missing.
...
Husband: She went in my Jeep.
Sergeant: What kind of Jeep was it?
...

She probably went wheeling in it and was having so much fun she just kept going

 

[Elff]

Highly Accurate

 

[Chuck]

Husband: My wife is missing.
She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home...
Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?
Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sergeant: Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant: Color of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
Sergeant: Color of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year.
Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.
Sergeant: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.
Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my Jeep.
Sergeant: What kind of Jeep was it?
Husband: (sobbing)
It's a 2010 Rubicon with Sprintex Supercharger with Intercooler, DiabloSport T-1000 Trinity Programmer, Teraflex Falcon 3.3 Shocks ,1350 RE Reel Drive Shafts, Method 105 Bead Locks, Toyo 37" X 13.5" Tires, Custom Olympic Off Road Front Bumper, Olympic Off Road Smuggler Rear Bumper with tire carrier, Seward Radius 4s LED Light, Seward 12" LED Light bar, 50" LED Light bar with, sPod LED switch pod with Boost gage,, Rigid LED Lights, 15# Power Tank, Rock Hard Cage, Rock Hard Under Armor, Posion Spyder Sliders, Posion Spyder Crusher Fenders, Posion Spyder Evap Armor, Posion Spyder Extreme Duty Trans-Mount Cross Member, Bushwacker rear armor, 5.13 Gears, Magnum 44 Front Axle, Off Road Evolution "C" Gussets, Cobra 75 CB Radio, Warn 10K on Front and 8K Winch on Rear, Bartact Seat Covers, Delta Quad Bar Xenon Headlamps,Tantrum LED Offroad Rock Lights, Teraflex HD Tie Rod, Teraflex Falcon Steering Stabilizer, Teraflex Alpine Long Control Arms Front & Rear, Teraflex 4" springs, Teraflex JK Performance Slotted Big Rotor Kit, TeraFlex Monster HD Forged Front Adjustable Trackbar, Teraflex Front & Rear Brake Line Kit, Teraflex Bump Stops Front & Rear, Surprise Straps, Hothead Headliner, Teraflex D-44 Diff Covers, Wild Boar Grille, Rigid Ridge Hood, Drake Hood Latch's & a Tuffy Security Drawer......
(At this point, the sobbing has turned into a full cry.)
Sergeant: Don't worry buddy. We'll find your Jeep.

I somewhat feel sorry for you as your wife has lost weight over the last 6 months, now looks like Adriana Lima’s twin, and we are having a blast with your Jeep in Moab! The cops will never find us!!

 

[The Crusader]

I somewhat feel sorry for you as your wife has lost weight over the last 6 months, now looks like Adriana Lima’s twin, and we are having a blast with your Jeep in Moab! The cops will never find us!!

My X lost 35 lbs when I divorced her. She now weighs less than 100 lbs and her 36DDs have deflated. Her saggy skin is now wrinkly and I'm about to buy myself the Jeep I was about to buy her before I discovered her cheating. She has her first job in 25 years and I'm paying no child support or alimony because I have proof of her affairs. I love Texas law!

I'm saving $4k/month because she no longer spends my money and her boyfriend dumped her.

 

[Gren71]

My X lost 35 lbs when I divorced her. She now weighs less than 100 lbs and her 36DDs have deflated. Her saggy skin is now wrinkly and I'm about to buy myself the Jeep I was about to buy her before I discovered her cheating. She has her first job in 25 years and I'm paying no child support or alimony because I have proof of her affairs. I love Texas law!

I'm saving $4k/month because she no longer spends my money and her boyfriend dumped her.

sorry that happened my dude..but it sounds like its working out for the better.

 

[The Crusader]

sorry that happened my dude..but it sounds like its working out for the better.

If you see a Sting Gray Sport S driving around Dover in June, it may be me. My son is stationed there. I just put it on order about 30 minutes ago.

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