My Gladiator in 33s with a 3.73 is still faster than my 2018 Outback. That thing was a death trap.
"One-hundred-percent throttle is needed to merge, to climb, to pass, to get anywhere." My JTR will do over 90mph easily without hitting full throttle. I don't know what parachute they are towing around, but mine averages about 20mpg running 75mph according to my 700 mile trip to Death Valley and accelerates effortlessly. Is it fast? hell no, but it's ridiculous to assert it necessitating full throttle to merge, pass, or to generally get around.
My 2nd to last car was a 330whp 350wtq protuned WRX... after my wife got a CX5 with 180? hp I realized I hardly floor her car. So I sold it and bought a Civic Si with 200bhp and hardly ever floored it. So I'm quite happy with the penta-power and it gets better gas mileage than my Tacoma and STi did. While the WRX got 19mpg, it required premium so my 17+ is quite similar in cost.
I'd love to see this idiot drive my old 98 12v Cummins when it was stock with a 215hp pump. That thing was SLOOOOW and iirc the governor springs would defuel it right before 80mph.