adamjedgar
Well-Known Member
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- #1
Hi guys,
this post is meant for no other reason than to have a genuine light hearted laugh. I want to add the caveat that i really love my car. My hope is a little "raw satire" is ok for these forums? Intro over, here goes...
Letter of concern to my local parish priest
Holy Father,
my lovely Jeep and I first met 2 years ago and for a while our relationship blossomed.
Things went well until her first medical checkup, however since then she appears to have been influenced to go on some kind of 'self appointed' journey of enlightenment, however that journey has not been good for our relationship.
She has made new friends out of strangers who seem to offer very bad advice, individuals who are not conducive to maintaining a good relationship between us.
As a result of this new habit, she has spent an ever increasing amount of time away from home...sometimes for weeks on end without so much as a phone call. Indeed one time, I thought she had even left the state. I found out later that she would have except that old friend she was secretly planning to visit had found another love interest!
Anyhow, It appears to me that she is intent on aiming to become the first imported car to have met the entire Australian tow truck fleet... this is tow no 5 for the year 2024.
What concerns me the most is that in addition to the wayward social relationships she has ( she continues to claim they are just friends) it seems to me that she also appears to enjoy meeting an ever increasing number of strange men (tow truck drivers) rubbing their ball sack on her seat whilst caressing her round thingy that is well known to stimulate left and right movement tendencies! She loves nothing more than showing off her legs whilst being driven or winched up that long polished ramp...sometimes even a little fluid escapes from her undersides in the process of being tied down...which concerns me greatly as I'm not a man who is highly experienced in dealing with that kind of erotic response. These tow truck drivers on the other hand, well they revel in the challenge and know just where to take her to satisfy her needs when this happens.
Enough is enough...its time to draw a line in the sand. If they start also pushing her buttons, ill have to put a stop to all this nonsense and start doing all the hands on work myself in future...perhaps even confining her to the house.
Holy Father, I sense a divorce is highly likely, however, i made a comittment and am trying my best...we are currently in counselling.
Despite my efforts, its becoming ever clearer to me that things are not progressing well and I am seeking the help of the church who has more experience in these kinds of relationship problems...and can advise on what to do?
Im thinking we may need to spice things up a little...perhaps forced induction under the hood? Is God going to be ok with that?
this post is meant for no other reason than to have a genuine light hearted laugh. I want to add the caveat that i really love my car. My hope is a little "raw satire" is ok for these forums? Intro over, here goes...
Letter of concern to my local parish priest
Holy Father,
my lovely Jeep and I first met 2 years ago and for a while our relationship blossomed.
Things went well until her first medical checkup, however since then she appears to have been influenced to go on some kind of 'self appointed' journey of enlightenment, however that journey has not been good for our relationship.
She has made new friends out of strangers who seem to offer very bad advice, individuals who are not conducive to maintaining a good relationship between us.
As a result of this new habit, she has spent an ever increasing amount of time away from home...sometimes for weeks on end without so much as a phone call. Indeed one time, I thought she had even left the state. I found out later that she would have except that old friend she was secretly planning to visit had found another love interest!
Anyhow, It appears to me that she is intent on aiming to become the first imported car to have met the entire Australian tow truck fleet... this is tow no 5 for the year 2024.
What concerns me the most is that in addition to the wayward social relationships she has ( she continues to claim they are just friends) it seems to me that she also appears to enjoy meeting an ever increasing number of strange men (tow truck drivers) rubbing their ball sack on her seat whilst caressing her round thingy that is well known to stimulate left and right movement tendencies! She loves nothing more than showing off her legs whilst being driven or winched up that long polished ramp...sometimes even a little fluid escapes from her undersides in the process of being tied down...which concerns me greatly as I'm not a man who is highly experienced in dealing with that kind of erotic response. These tow truck drivers on the other hand, well they revel in the challenge and know just where to take her to satisfy her needs when this happens.
Enough is enough...its time to draw a line in the sand. If they start also pushing her buttons, ill have to put a stop to all this nonsense and start doing all the hands on work myself in future...perhaps even confining her to the house.
Holy Father, I sense a divorce is highly likely, however, i made a comittment and am trying my best...we are currently in counselling.
Despite my efforts, its becoming ever clearer to me that things are not progressing well and I am seeking the help of the church who has more experience in these kinds of relationship problems...and can advise on what to do?
Im thinking we may need to spice things up a little...perhaps forced induction under the hood? Is God going to be ok with that?
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